


And All the Kids Cried Out

by kotosk (Kotosk)



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Iroh (Avatar) is a Good Uncle, Ozai (Avatar) is an Asshole, Pre-Canon, Zuko has a lot of issues and none of them get addressed, Zuko is 14 and a Half, he really tries but he's not always successful, no beta we die like lu ten
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27424024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kotosk/pseuds/kotosk
Summary: Uncle shakes his head, his face unusually grave.“Prince Zuko, taking another man's life is a horrible deed and I wish to spare you from it for as long as I can.”Zuko blinks. He thought Uncle knew. “But I already have?”
Relationships: Iroh & Zuko (Avatar), Jee & Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 48
Kudos: 601





	And All the Kids Cried Out

In his year and a half that Zuko has spent on this Agni forsaken ship he’s witnessed quite a lot of things. 

There was a time a kraken tried to attack their ship but it was, thankfully, a very young one, which meant it couldn’t pierce the hull of the ship but was also terrible in the implication that its parents still might have been nearby. The meat of a tentacle they managed to chop off lasted them for almost a week and no-one in the crew ever looked at an octopus the same way after that. 

Weird lights in the sea, spirit sightings, weird crews on passing by ships that might or might have not been pirates in disguise - Zuko’s thought he’s seen it all. 

Three Water Tribe vessels that are circling their ship in the distance are new.

Zuko has heard the rumors in the ports - of lone Fire Nation ships hunted down and sunk - and the way they’re closing the distance as the sun slides closer to the horizon fills him with cold dread. 

The wind is against them as it comes from the land, so the savages can gain on them in no time if - _when_ \- they want. The _Wani_ is about to enter a narrow spot at the mouth of the bay; Zuko can see tiny lights already starting on the shoreline from his spot on the bridge. They’re so close and yet so far.

The sheer audacity of the water savages attacking in the plain view of the port is outraging, but it wasn’t that surprising in these parts of the Earth Kingdom. A pirate attack would have been more expected but, apparently, the savages have joined them now as well in these waters. 

The _Wani_ is on her last reserves of coal due to several hard storms they went through so they’ve used more than planned in their struggle to stay on the course. The previous port they’ve stopped at refused to sell coal to a Fire nation ship so they _need_ to get to the port or they would end up drifting.

This situation leaves Zuko, Uncle and lieutenant Jee arguing on the bridge with the crew waiting for their orders on the deck, every man awake and armored. 

“If we turn around now, we still might have enough coal to last us until the next port,” Jee suggests as he traces a line between their current location and the port on the map. 

“And if we run out of coal halfway there?” Uncle asks. 

“If we do, the engines can be run on firebending for a few hours if we let them cool down in between, so if we pace it carefully we can make it.” 

Uncle nods, seemingly deep in thoughts, worry still etching its way on his face. 

“The supplies are also starting to run low,” Zuko says. “We need to dock here. There are nine firebenders on the ship, we should be able to fight them off.”

“Eight,” Jee corrects, making Zuko bristle at him. He knows his bending still isn’t great, he doesn’t need his lieutenant reminding him that.

“Prince Zuko, I would rather not have a battle situation on our hands just yet,” Uncle says, trying to mollify him. 

Zuko grits his teeth and doesn't let himself be persuaded. “I can fight,” he says. The two men remain rather unconvinced, so he presses harder. “I _can_.”

Uncle shakes his head, his face unusually grave. 

“Prince Zuko, taking another man's life is a horrible deed and I wish to spare you from it for as long as I can.”

Zuko blinks. He thought Uncle knew. “But I already have?”

The atmosphere on the bridge goes from tense to freezing in mere seconds, making him briefly wonder if that was a wrong thing to say. Uncle's flat ‘what’ and Jee’s stunned ‘when’ merge together as they speak at the same time. 

Jee recovers faster, while Uncle seems to be lost for words. 

“Sir, when have you managed to? You spend most of your time either on the ship or with us, how-”

Zuko barely resists rolling his eyes. Of course the lieutenant is worried something has escaped his notice for once. The man is eerily good at knowing every single thing that's going on the ship at any given moment, which makes his sneaking around unnecessarily hard. He's getting better, though. 

“Before my banishment.” He decides to explain. “I failed the thirteenth kata set for the third time so Father forbade the guards from protecting me until I got better. One of the assassins got too close.”

What Zuko doesn't tell is that he couldn't produce a decent flame to literally save his life so he settled for Uncle’s knife like a non-bending failure he is. The metallic smell and feel of slick hot blood on his hands still appears in his mind from time to time. 

The air around them gets significantly warmer, uncomfortably so, and Zuko takes an instinctive step back because that's not an expression he's ever seen on his uncle's face. 

A half-formed prayer to Agni comes to his mind before he can stop it. Uncle wouldn't-

Then again, he also was fairly sure Father wouldn't melt half of his face off. 

Uncle takes a deep breath and carefully hides his hands into his sleeves. Zuko can't help but watch his every movement. 

“Where was I when this happened, Prince Zuko?”

Zuko hesitates. Jee watches the entire scene in silence, his face carefully neutral. 

“You were-” _in the spirit world mad with grief gone like mother_ “-away from the palace.”

Uncle slowly exhales, and Zuko stares at the few sparks that escaped with it.

He’s beyond confused - Father was actually proud of him that day. At least, proud enough to let the fact he used a knife slide, which says a lot. Father told him he might still have a chance of becoming a man worthy of his title. 

Surely not because of the failed kata, either. Zuko’s been struggling with the beginner sets for the first half a year aboard the ship, and Uncle never got angry with that, guiding him through the katas with endless patience and tea breaks.

He hasn't told them about the knife, but they have probably figured it out by now. People are hard to burn, as he intimately knows, and even harder to actually be killed with fire. His bending is still lacking now and it was much worse back then; it's not hard to draw logical conclusions about his choice of a weapon. 

Zuko tries not to wince; Jee already hates him as it is, and now he knows of yet another failure of his.

Uncle opens his mouth to say something when they hear rapid footsteps running up the stairs to the bridge. A few seconds later their lookout, Bao, appears in the doorway, sparing Zuko from the need to reply to whatever accusation Uncle was about to throw his way. 

“Sirs, an Empire-class battleship is coming from the north-west and going our way, the water savages have scattered to the nearby fjords.”

Pure relief overwhelms him as Zuko uses this opportunity to escape the bridge. Halfway down the stairs Zuko almost stumbles when another realization hits him - few people are travelling on the ships that size, and knowing his rotten luck it’s undoubtedly going to be fucking Zhao. 

Even that fact doesn’t dampen the immense relief he feels at not having to encounter three crews of water savages.

Zuko steps out on the deck just in time to see the nearing ship in the last rays of the setting sun. Had he still had any illusions about Agni answering his prayers, he might’ve thought this sight was symbolic. 

The ship reaches them in a matter of minutes, slowing down once it passes the Wani and signaling for them to follow. 

They do.

Zuko busies himself overseeing the crew preparing for the docking, his crewmen just as relieved as he is that the threat has passed. 

By the time they touch land Uncle and the lieutenant join them on the deck, and Zuko cautiously allows himself to relax; Uncle has enough tact not to interrogate him further in front of the crew. 

Zuko is one of the first to walk down the gangplank. The port around them is bustling with life, traders and sailors mixing together in a loud crowd. Zuko takes a breath to collect himself and heads towards the battleship, preparing to endure Zhao being a creep again. He can hear his uncle's steps behind him. 

By yet another miracle, when they reach the other ship’s gangplank the person Zuko sees isn't Zhao. Admiral Shi is one of the few actually decent people in the navy Zuko has encountered so far, and one of the fewer people that are not actively trying to cause him grief every time they see each other.

The admiral turns to greet them, and Zuko gives him a shallow bow of gratitude. 

“Your timing was most fortunate, admiral Shi,” Uncle says before Zuko can open his mouth and mess things up again. He squares his shoulders and tries to at least look dignified. 

Admiral Shi bows in return, his eyes briefly glancing over Zuko’s scar before focusing entirely on Uncle .

“It is not the safest sea, I'm afraid. General Iroh, if you could accompany me to the port quartermeister? The situation with the pirates is starting to get concerning, and your insight would be invaluable.”

“It would be my pleasure, admiral,” Uncle agrees amicably. 

The moment it’s polite to nod and leave Zuko does just that, before he can get roped into following Uncle all over the port. He stops to watch the coal getting loaded in the ship's coal bunkers for a few minutes before venturing off to explore the market on his own. 

He doesn’t get back to the ship until it's dark like a coward he is. 

***

When Zuko sneaks into the corridor leading to his cabin he finds his lieutenant already standing there, clearly waiting for him. Jee notices him before he can backtrack and saluts in greeting.

“Sir, your esteemed uncle asked me to tell you that he’s waiting for you in his cabin.”

Jee remains standing in front of his door, clearly implying that Zuko won't be given a chance to hide in his cabin, and he joins Zuko when he passes by. 

Before they reach the door to uncle’s cabin Jee stops.

“Sir, just so you know, I mastered the thirteenth set when I was almost 25.”

Zuko stares at him, unable to come up with an answer that doesn't sound terribly rude. How on Agni’s earth is he supposed to react to that? Pointing out that a lowborn cannot be held to the same standard as a crown prince definitely sounds rude; he doesn't want another fight right before facing his uncle, so he settles for a nod and reaches for the door handle. 

Zuko enters and closes the door, legs full of lead and blood rushing in his ears. The room is dimly lit, and his uncle is sitting at his table, busy with measuring tea leaves into a pot. It takes Zuko five steps to close the distance between them, and with each step the desire to bolt out of the cabin grows exponentially. 

He sits in seiza and prepares himself for whatever punishment Uncle is about to lay on him for truly angering him for the first time since they’ve started his quest. 

He's quiet; Uncle is rarely truly quiet, always humming or asking questions or telling him about the strategy that won him yet another game of pai sho, so the silence is almost palpable. Zuko tries to keep his breath steady and deep, and he fails. 

Uncle finishes pouring them tea before gathering his thoughts. 

“I would like to apologize, prince Zuko,” he says at last. 

Zuko raises his head for the first time since he came in to stare at his uncle, not quite believing his ears. 

“I should have been more alert when I returned from my journey; I've always known my brother is not a kind man.” 

Uncle takes a sip of his tea, pausing before continuing.

“I should have noticed how he treated you.”

“Your son died,” Zuko blurts out and ducks his head to hide his grimace. Out of all talents the royal family should possess he got the gift of making things worse every time he opens his mouth. 

“I mean-”

Uncle sighs, and Zuko desperately wishes for Agni to smite him down on the spot so he doesn’t have to deal with this anymore. Agni, as always, ignores him. 

“I know what you meant, nephew. Still, I shouldn't have forsaken my duty to my living family.” Uncle sets his cup on the table and gives him a small bow. “Please forgive me, prince Zuko.”

“I forgive you.” The words feel empty because there's nothing to forgive. If anything, Zuko is the one at fault. However, Uncle seems less upset, so at least he’s managed to salvage the situation somehow. 

Zuko risks taking his own cup, pleased that his hands have finally stopped shaking. Uncle launches into describing his conversation with admiral Shi and, bit by bit, Zuko allows himself to relax.

**Author's Note:**

> In some fic (i forgot which one orz) i saw a passing mention of ozai forbidding the guards to guard zuko and this fic immediately got born


End file.
